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Undeserved Sustenance

by Paper Moses

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1.
Sit on the side of the world Stuck on the side of the world Sick of the sight of the world Lost in the eyes of the world Sit on the side of the world Laugh at the games of the world Broke by the lies of the world Flowers surrounding the world Heartbreak, daydreams, sleepy smiles Modes of being in this suffering age His mortal shell screams inside Drowned by life's intolerable sounds Itchy temples, foggy sighs, thoughts collapse and hearts ignite Formulas to reach beyond, outside, or deep within Hope is wasted energy A shield from life's impulsive whims Throbbing, throbbing melodies Soaring around on a trapeze The audience expects to laugh And passively accepts the joke Their own lives belong in a circus Featured right after the elephants and right before the man with a big red nose I searched inside myself and I found nothing of worth Dummy, ghost, monkey meat Trapped by compulsions that wreak havoc on my well-being Foggy thoughts blow away before I can examine them External skies suck my heart of all its luster Sit on the side of the world
2.
I don't work for food or pay any rent How's that for a little secret? Respect, it don't matter to me As long as livin' remains free I'm a hardened shell with pantomime structures A grain of sand on the cosmic shore My heart's in a wreck cuz our stories will diverge I wanna see you and be renewed I stay in my room and think about life It's oh so fun to philosophize How long will this work for me? I can't forget that money ain't free I'm a hardened shell with pantomime structures A grain of sand on the cosmic shore My heart's in a wreck cuz our stories will diverge I wanna see you and be renewed Each day lingers on and the nights they move too fast Burdened by poisonous dreams left for dead My chest clings to habits I picked up in the dark My days are long and my pleasures are few!
3.
I thought I saw you look at me, and I think you are sexy This feeling has me turning red, a reminder I'm not dead (yeah) Falling in love with the cute, young girl who's checking me out at Sprouts, ringin' up groceries The look in her eyes says she doesn't wanna be checking me out or ringing up groceries She doesn't know that I've been where she's been before, I've felt what she's feeling Feelings galore, we all have them so please let me feel you and feel free to feel me I'd like to take you home with me, so we can talk about some things Like the fact that I love you (it's true, it's really true), even though I just met you (yeah yeah yeah) Falling in love with the cute, young girl who's checking me out at Sprouts, ringin' up groceries The look in her eyes says she doesn't wanna be checking me out or ringing up groceries She doesn't know that I've been where she's been before, I've felt what she's feeling Feelings galore, we all have them so please let me feel you and feel free to feel me
4.
Freedom through kindness and lowered expectations Freedom through musical ecstasy Freedom through authentic feelings Freedom through letting go Freedom through coming to terms with the absurd Freedom through acceptance of life's inevitables Freedom through giving it your all Freedom through mindful conformity Freedom through self-immolation Freedom through intentional thought patterns Freedom through uncensored expression Freedom through moving forward
5.
The way you make me feel! You make me feel so good! Matters of taste and matters of convention Take my heart, it's a human invention! Dazzled by dreams and dazzled by eternity I feel quite small, but I also feel free!
6.
Open this broken heart of mine Inside you'll find a new paradigm Try to put pieces back in place You'll find they'll need to be rearranged It's a muddy walk to paradise
7.
I don't have to say a thing She knows exactly what I want But anytime I feel like this What we have goes out for lunch She looks at me like a gun cocked And I'm afraid to turn my back For fear of being loved She leans forward for me to see The lights of her majesty She's tempting me with a razor blade But time is money at a penny arcade And there's monkeys in the shadows Yeah there's monkeys in the shadows And virgins afraid of being laid The court jester holds up a light bulb and says "All that is made is made to decay"   To know her is to love her And I love her, but I don't know her To know her is to love her And I love her, but I don't know her   I feel for a place to sit Things always go on this way I'm lost for a little bit 'Til I come up with something to say Then I'll go on and on and on and on About rat skulls in her lawn I'll not specifically mention names her and I know We're just ashamed She knows I'm here And she readily rebukes her sister She treats me with a sudden respect Suddenly she calls me mister But just as soon, I soon forget And start poking around in the trash Talking myself into outer space And watching the reactions on her face   To know her is to love her And I love her but I don't know her To know her is to love her And I love her but I don't know her   The picture of her sitting there Me and her on that chair I can only say as much as I please But not as much as I dare Where is the little girl who fell in love with me The girl who fell in love with a sat-el-lite That little girl's moved out now But the satellite still comes around Most every other night I think my interest bleeds a heart Of a dead dog lying in her yard I could catch her breath and bottle it But I could never catch her off guard Now when I go there nowadays It's like visiting a sinking ship And I'm a man overboard And she won't throw me a lifeline Symbolically represented by her lips You know me because you love me And you love me because you know me You know me because you love me And you love me because you know me
8.
No more favors for my family and friends Cuz I'm sinking deeper in the deep end! I squeeze my stomach and I clench my fists I feel like I wanna throw a fit! No more favors No more favors No more favors anymore No more favors Cuz I'm a greedy, slimy bastard I only want what's good for me _________________________________________________ I'm a mustard turtle, I have no friends I'm a mustard turtle, is this the end? He's a mustard turtle, at the end of his rope Yeah he's a mustard turtle, oh what a joke! Mustard turtle la la la
9.
Existing alone in a field of black space, encompassed by a blanket of all, beyond love, thinking: "What does it mean to be?" Mind returning, the self is burning I ride in the flow, the flow of the All! I see mySelf in the cheery handman I realize I shall die by my own hand! Life, it's what we're livin' Breathin', seein', and bein' Life, the only thing livin' Inside and outside Swimming is sinking and sinking is swimming. We all look for ourselves in others when we won't find ourselves anywhere but in our own innermost selves. I inhabit every reality by the power of thought invested in me. Mind returning, the self is burning I ride in the flow, the flow of the All! I see mySelf in the cheery handman I realize I shall die by my own hand! Life, it's what we're livin' Breathin', seein', and bein' Life, the only thing livin' Inside and outside The sameness is scary It cringles my scringles The truth, it exists In the depths of your eyes If I were a fox, would it be a surprise? _________________________________________________ Feel like I'm growin' apart from my best friend But I don't care cuz everything ends A lot of fun, yes we had Now it seems we're on a different path
10.
I let my family down! They don't approve of me! I shall not wear the crown! This truth is plain to see! _________________________________________________ I sing my songs, embrace things unknown This life is not my own I stand in awe and lose myself In the infinite drone Disapproval all around, but I won't let it get me down Born into freedom, gradually slipped into bondage somewhere along the way Now the slippage is reversing and what is naturally mine is returning I don't wanna run or hide anymore From the face in the mirror or the knock on the door I know that all is well There's no such thing as hell Thoughts and prayers are my bread-and-butter I want to do nothing less than the greatest good in every perceived segment of the eternal present I sing my songs, embrace things unknown This life is not my own I stand in awe and lose myself In the infinite drone
11.
She's There 04:11
Wherever there's trouble, she's there Whenever there's hunger, she'll be there To make things better, she walks in love She keeps the darkness at bay, with her light She taught me how to live My most important teacher Mother strives to walk like he did How can I ever repay her? Committed to the task of a life of love It's what she strives for everyday Nothing less than a life of love And all her children say: "thank you" She taught me how to live My most important teacher Mother strives to walk like he did How can I ever repay her?
12.
I used to think maybe you love me, now baby I'm sure And I just cant wait till the day, when you knock on my door Now every time I go for the mail box, gotta hold myself down 'cause I just cant wait till you write me, you're coming around I'm walking on sunshine (whoa oh) I'm walking on sunshine (whoa oh) I'm walking on sunshine (whoa oh) And don't it feel good! I used to think maybe you love me, I know that it's true And I don't wanna spend all of my life just waiting for you just waiting for you Now I don't want you back for the weekend, not back for a day, no, no, no Baby, I just want you back and I want you to stay I'm walking on sunshine (whoa oh) I'm walking on sunshine (whoa oh) I'm walking on sunshine (whoa oh) And don't it feel good! Walking on sunshine I feel alive, I feel the love, I feel the love that's really real I'm on sunshine baby I'm walking on sunshine (whoa oh) I'm walking on sunshine (whoa oh) I'm walking on sunshine (whoa oh) And don't it feel good! I'm walking on sunshine
13.
Exploring caverns with underwater debris Noting results of biological change Enjoying the rush of sensational glee Knowing this feeling wouldn't last By consensus the Proph becomes the leader of three Peering through pathways of ancient design We entered the Rainbow Lagoon by chance Drawn by sounds made by ancient bluesmen Laughing and crawling like creatures outside Of reticular structures and systems divine Confused and amused to almost equal degrees Diminishing egos create memories A wonderful boy with a humorous gleam Sees his future self enjoy his last cup of joe A spiritual world opens for the youngest of three Filled with eyelashes and a lady of light Chunks of fresh rock history I close my eyes and escape into NOW ​ In the morning light I feel so bright I'm sitting on the beach The waves are soft static forever rolling The sand is sifting through gold mist And I love you boys more than ever I dove through the icy water And felt the universe naked Coming towards me The womb was waiting for me To return Healing light Warmth and pineapple Sonic waves And your hands were patting on the carpet so close to my tender ears An aquarium in the morning A rainbow lagoon full of strange sights Warped creatures reflected in the glass I'm sitting on a curb The air is cool with memories My heart full of gratitude And I think of the words you have given me And I love you more than ever my boys I love you more than ever
14.
Everyday I'm waiting for an intrusion Of the conscious mind from a past self To shine some light on me in the darkness To help me find my way out of this hell I won't find it in drugs I won't find it in sex I shouldn't strive for material debris All I need is me Those moments of eternity When I forget who's me Those moments set me free Moments of eternity _________________________________________________ I had a funny little feeling Yes I had a funny little feeling

about

This album is dedicated to my brother Colson Timblin.

-Chad Timblin: vocals; acoustic, electric, and bass guitars; keyboards; piano; drums
-Daniel Johnston: lyrics on "Utmost Idiocy"
-Katrina and the Waves: music on "Walking On Sunshine"
-Ben Mabry: spoken word lyrics and performance on "A Chance Encounter"

credits

released January 4, 2018

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Paper Moses

Paper Moses was birthed in late 2012 as a moniker for Chad Timblin's solo musical creations.

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